My name is Jai! (yeah)
And I’m a blogger (yeah)….
Ok that was fun, but lets really get into it. About me and about this blog.
In 2013 I found out I had uterine fibroids. Not one big one, not a bunch of tiny ones; 20 pea to large lime/small orange sized (5-8 cm) fibroids. The good news: none of them were in my uterine cavity. The bad news: the larger fibroids were pressing on my bladder, causing an issue with my right kidney. They were also distorting my uterus so that it was and pressing on my right ovary and distorting and stretching my right fallopian tube. (more on that later). I got them removed in a successful laparoscopic assisted procedure. I thought: ‘Great! I’m done with this! I can go back to life as I knew it. ‘
Except I wasn’t.
As a result of the damage the fibroids did to my right ovary and just general after effects of surgery (and you know, hitting that magic 35 number) my fertility was in question. At a time when it seemed like everyone around me was having a baby. I might not be able to have a baby (or have one the old fashioned way). Really uterus? You had one job.
As I researched and talked to people, I found that fibroids are very common in women, especially Black women. I also found that many women struggle with their fertility for various reasons. Infertility was a secret shame of so many women, Black women included, and maybe more so.
We don’t have a good track record in the Black community of talking about health and medical issues in a real way. Any issues really. Where can you go for support? Who can you talk to about it? Your mommy friends that get pregnant when their husband/boyfriend just looks at them? Your family who are quietly tapping their foot and waiting for their “grand baby”, niece/nephew or new little cousin? Your girlfriend who doesn’t want kids anyway? If you just so happen to have a friend or co-worker that has gone through or is going through what you are, its like a miracle that you found each other: “Finally! Someone who knows what I’m talking about and how I feel.”
So, I’m going to blog about it. I’m going to talk to the world about my journey.
I want to share my story, because it’s the story for so many other women, and create a place that’s informative, supportive, and fun. It can be hard when you’re going through this to remember to laugh and enjoy life a little. Nothing about surgery, medical bills, test upon test, and the uncertainty of fulfilling a life long desire to become a parent seems fun or funny when its happening, but we need to let go sometimes to keep our sanity.
I want my experiences to help and encourage some one else, and for women to know they’re not alone. To make sure that my people know (I’m looking at you Black America) that infertility is something that happens to us. A lot of us. And we need to support each other and be brave enough to be seen.
So welcome to this corner of the world. For the mamas and all the maybe mamas!